ADHD in the Family – Parents’ Club Summary

On February 12, 2022, parents had the opportunity to attend a lecture by clinical psychologist Zsuzsa Martsa at Murmo’s Thematic Parents’ Club, where they received valuable theoretical and practical information on the topic of ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder).

Zsuzsa began her presentation by debunking common misconceptions surrounding ADHD. She highlighted that despite the numerous resources available today regarding attention deficit and hyperactivity, the condition is still very often used as a synonym for being a “bad child.” Since certain symptoms of hyperactivity, such as the need for physical movement, are a natural part of normal early childhood development, ambiguous questions and answers like these lead to a lot of uncertainty and misunderstanding. Furthermore, another challenge is that hyperactivity and inattention can fundamentally be symptoms of many other child psychiatric disorders. Without being exhaustive, these can include: tic disorders, learning or behavioral disorders, major depressive episodes. Therefore, as a parent, it is crucial to thoroughly investigate the situation and seek the help of a professional to determine what is really going on. Ultimately, making the final diagnosis is always a medical competence.

We speak of ADHD when the three main difficulties—hyperactivity, impulsivity, and inattention—co-occur. A total of 18 warning signs can be associated with these, which can also help parents find their bearings. ADHD is an innate temperamental trait, meaning it is usually noticeable before the age of 7, it is a condition, not a disease. Simply being highly active or having a greater need for physical movement is not enough to establish a diagnosis. It must be linked to functional impairment that causes difficulties across multiple settings, such as among peers and at home.

Parents can often feel ill-equipped and resort to constant criticism, punishment, or restrictions as a solution. Unresolved difficulties can also lead to conflicts within the parents’ relationship. Alongside domestic struggles, school performance and behavior pose challenges for both the child and the parents. However, it is vital to understand that the child does not underperform or act “badly” because they want to, but simply because they cannot do otherwise. That is to say, they lack the necessary skills, or they are still too young. Furthermore, children tend to choose behaviors that generally work for them to achieve what they want—such as attention, escaping a task, or simply a good feeling associated with doing the activity. In every case, the solution lies in fostering the desired behavior through rewards, as punishment undermines trust and triggers anger. During rewarding, it is important that the child understands what behavior is expected and recognized; in case of positive performance, we should praise the action and reward them according to a pre-established system that they also comprehend.

Using this method, parents can do a lot to make daily life smoother. Rewarding can be complemented by structuring space and time—in other words, simplifying and organizing the child’s life. This can be achieved by separating certain life areas by function (e.g., breakfast in the kitchen, a study corner, or a play corner, keeping these areas tidy by eliminating distracting stimuli) or by breaking the daily routine down into subtasks. These solutions provide immense help to the child even in early school age, just as simplifying what we say and phrasing it in short, simple sentences does. During the lecture, Zsuzsa showcased several creative, handmade reward and point-tracking booklets created by parents to manage various difficulties, such as tantrums or scattered attention.

At the end of the 60-minute presentation, which was rich in practical advice, participants asked about the benefits and potential drawbacks of medication. There was also further discussion on how to involve and collaborate with educators as partners. Zsuzsa recommended several books to the parents and suggested that they gather information primarily from professional literature instead of internet portals.